I came across this personal statement on the website of a mainland college prep agency that specializes in writing such documents on behalf of university applicants. Since the company displayed the piece to give prospective clients an idea of what they can offer, they must have thought of it as well-written. I found it severely lacking in style and voice, though. I’ve come up with a better version, one that is 20% lengthier but packed with much more personality and content
“我有個朋友，兩個兒子的母親，她老公是英國人，家裏說英語，孩子們在Harrow International School讀書，按理說英文應沒問題？但他們去考11 Plus ，也沒法駕馭英文卷裏的閱讀理解!” 有學生家長曾跟我說。
“My daughter can’t figure out what’s in the picture. I can’t either. Can you you teach her how to write an essay when pictures like this appear in exams? Thank you” 前幾天，一個女兒在英國就讀Year 5的家長，跟我吐槽女兒Mock Exam裏的一條看圖作文題目有多難。 英國中小學給學生發的看圖作文題目我接觸過不少，的確，那條學生家長也難倒的題目, 可能是我見過的看圖作文題目裏最難的: 這麽沒有 meaning 的圖片，怎樣write a story based on it? 我建議可以好好運用聯想力。圖片中的少男，讓我想起我曾經的住所的附近，傍晚經常能看到少男們展示滑板花式，估計這個年紀的男孩喜歡通過展示體能確立自我。他脚下的木條讓我想起我小時候到泰國旅行觀賞的bamboo dance。另外，我注意到少男的背後毫無人烟，所以我可以把故事設在清晨。 Below is my response to the question： Finally, all… Continue reading My daughter can’t figure out what’s in the picture. I can’t either.“
英國學校有時求學生寫narrative essays, 而經常出現的narrative essay topics之一是游記。 下面這篇來自Year 6 學生的游記， 犯了典型的錯 - 把旅游當天的所見所聞平鋪直敘地說一遍就了事。所以縱使學生grammar和 setence structure方面掌握得不錯，要確保能拿到高分，最好還加插旅途中的心靈體會。我的rewrite 演示了如何這麽做。 My day at the Lake District Student The clear blue sky was filled with pigeons, a peaceful sight for me to behold as the boat I was in swung me back and forth. A gentle freeze blew in my face. When I went… Continue reading 寫 narrative essay 的竅門
最近，我一個9嵗的學生寫了這篇題目為”My Best Friend“的文章
今周一位學生家長給我寫了一封很讓我很鼓舞的郵件
在英國，有讀小學的孩子的香港家長，都不會對Eleven Plus 考試陌生（簡單來説，要入讀英國的頂尖公立中學和私校，就必須在11-12嵗期間,拿到優秀的Eleven Plus成績）。對在香港長大的學生來説，Eleven Plus 英文卷的困難程度，可以用以下幾張圖表達.
When I began to write professionally several years ago, the type of writing I dreaded the most was the one that seemed the easiest at first glance: narrative writing. How tricky could narrative writing be, you might ask. After all, in our everyday conversations, we constantly recount happenings to others, and we do so effortlessly… Continue reading Navigating narrative writing
Come Write Like Michelle 